3 Funny Stories

Story #1:
Drew found my mom's box of Sharpies and in a matter of minutes had the floor covered with red, dark blue, green , yellow and black. I wish I had taken a picture, but I just panicked and dumped the first cleaner I grabbed (Soft Scrub) all over it. Thankfully, it all came up; whether that's because it was still wet or because the floor is linoleum, or because of a miracle, I don't know. Anyway, I now am converted to Soft Scrub.

Story #2:
On Friday I was about to get in the shower and decided I wanted to be left alone for the whole 15 minutes! (Selfish, I know.) Isaac was down for a nap, and I got the boys settled with some toys and got in the shower. I normally lock the door, but I was the only adult home (my parents were out of town last week) so I left it unlocked. I was by myself for three minutes when Drew and J.T. came in and started poking at the shower curtain and wanting to play with the water knobs and basically just be obnoxious. So I hollered for them to get out of the bathroom and find a toy. Well, they did. A tube of toothpaste. And they put it all over the carpet in their bedroom. And I don't know how much they ate. Why are boys so destructively curious?

Story #3:
Also on Friday, I went into the boys' room to tell them naptime was over (they never went to sleep). I walked in, and saw that J.T. was completely naked (this has shown up alarmingly often as a solution to boredom). So I'm griping at him to not take his diaper off, while I kneel down to put it back on him. I hear the door shut and Drew says "Drew locked it." (The lock is on the outside of the door; I reversed it when I got here, thinking that was the simplest solution to prevent them from locking themselves in.) I run over and, sure enough, it's locked with the three of us inside. Isaac is down the hall taking a nap. My parents are out of town; my cell phone is in the next room; there is not a soul outside; all the exterior door of the house are locked; I have no screwdriver; I'm on the second story. Aaaaggghh!! #@!! *big deep breath*
I have absolutely no resources to get myself and my children out of this room. So the three of us knelt down and asked our Heavenly Father to please get us out somehow because Mama cannot get us out. So we prayed, and then sat down to read a Dr. Seuss book to calm down. (J.T. was starting to get a little distressed.) After about ten minutes, a UPS truck stops at the end of our driveway, gets a box, and starts walking toward the house. So I open the window and call down to him, "Hi. My little boy locked us in this room, and I have no phone, and all the outside doors are locked. Could you call my grandmother for me?" Yes, I felt quite foolish knowing I'd be his crazy lady story of the day for his family, but he called Grandmama for me, and she came over with her spare house key and rescued us.
Right after the UPS man left while we were waiting for Grandmama, we all knelt down again to thank Heavenly Father for getting us out. And we had a very detailed discussion on the relationship between future door locking and spankings. And yes, I'm going to swap that door knob with one that has no lock.